Tag: positive life

Learning to Let Go

by kaella, posted in Uncategorized

Happy 2019 everyone! I can’t wait to begin this year off with a bang, even if I am late to the party… so let’s learn how to let it go in 2019!

Let it go, let it go… yes I’m mentally singing the song in my head which is something I should have started doing when the song first came out. I am the opposite of a let it go person so this is my challenge to myself in 2019. I need to learn to let things go and not let them eat me alive one thought at a time.

Dwell like last weeks leftovers

Who are my fellow dwell on something until it’s all you can think about, consumes your mind, body and soul and slowly eats you alive?

For most of my 37 years, I have acted like I let things go while they  sit in my mind and stew like those leftover you forgot in the back of the fridge. Yes, those now moldy, soggy leftovers that you just want to throw away, container and all are like the bad moments that I can’t let go in my mind. It is sad that letting go has become this hard for me.

In the beginning, I could let some stuff roll off my back and let go of the negative impact it had on my life. That all changed with my divorce. I married a man and had 2 children with him and the whole time our marriage was just a huge, gigantic lie to him. Since, my older kids don’t know the whole story of our divorce, all I can say is that there was ALOT of lies and betrayal on his part that forever changed who I was, mentally and emotionally and even physically. How do you bounce back from that kind of betrayal? You learn to act like you let it go while suppressing your true feelings until you stew on them to the point that it makes you anxiety ridden and over analyze EVERYTHING! This is NOT the healthy way to do with a life changing event, which is why I am changing my thoughts and life with #mindsetreset with Mel Robbins.

Negative Thoughts On Repeat

Are you one that has the repeat button on in your mind that tells you: You are to fat, You are to old, You are stupid, No One Loves You, You are not Good Enough? I have been on the no one loves you and I am not good enough train for probably 25 years. The I am not good enough thoughts started as a child when I was reprimanded for bad grades and then escalated with family situations that occurred in my life. The no one loves you thoughts really began to shine through any positive thoughts with my divorce and just got worse with every break up there after.

As adults, our limiting or negative beliefs are ones that have either started as a child, by a parent or teacher or a traumatic event in adolescence/adulthood.  These negative beliefs can shape our lives which is not healthy for yourself and your loved ones. 

What are your limiting, negative beliefs about yourself?

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life

For years, I have believed in the saying: Change your thoughts, Change your LIFE but I haven’t always executed what I believed in. It takes time and effort to recognize the bad thoughts and change them to good ones, especially when most of your thoughts are negative beliefs about yourself. As I have been consciously working on catching my negative thoughts, I have realized how much I let things stew in my mind, even the smallest of things.

For example, I know that I have used the cheating accusations dwell in my thoughts for the past year and has shaped how I treat my husband and even close friends of mine. This is not how I want to live my life. I either accept what he told and move forward or I don’t accept it and move on from my marriage. Dwelling on he/she said aspect is not healthy for anyone in my family, especially my children.

Another example: In August, I began to sell clothes that either didn’t fit me or my kids on Poshmark. Everyone I know either sells or buys on Poshmark and raves about it. As I started to gain sales, I added some of my handmade hats and other accessories. In October, the hats became a hit for Halloween. I had one buyer, after trying to haggle a lower price for weeks, complain to Poshmark about the hat until I sent her a new one. This bothered me until she gave me a 5 star review. I sat at all 5 star reviews until last week. Another buyer, who also haggled a lower price on a more expensive item, gave the sweater 4 stars and remarked about item cleanliness. This has bugged me day in and out since that review because I always make sure the items are clean and list the wear for the used items in the listing. Plus, it dropped my rating to a 4.9 which isn’t horrible but not how I want my business perceived to potential buyers.

The only way to learn to let go of the negativity and negative thoughts is by releasing them from your mind. I have had to consciously recognize when I am having negative thoughts or dwelling on situations, and tell myself that I am good enough, I am loved, I am a wonderful woman and mother. This is the only way to begin to let things go.

Let It Go and Have a Happy Life

I want that happy life that I see other people have or portray having happy lives. I know that in order to truly be happy in my own life, my own body and my own mind is to make changes within myself. To start off these changes, I need to learn to let go of the past, let go of the stupid shit that bothers me, let go of the negative thoughts and let go my self destructive behaviors that fester all of the negativity and leaves no room for positivity in my life. It is time to shine with happiness and positivity, even if those around me are negative. It is time to let it go, let it go while I wait out the storm for sunny days. 

If you want to join Mel Robbins #mindsetreset and change your thoughts for 2019 follow this link: #mindsetreset 

 

100 Act Of Kindness Days

by kaella, posted in Uncategorized

healthy (2)

Danyella has been dealing with bullying and mean girls the past year so as her mother, I have been working on her self-care routine through her school work. She doesn’t realize that when I have her write a positive sentance everyday… its self care. She doesn’t realize that when I have her take 15 minutes before bed to write down her feelings…. its self care. There are many way I have incorporated self care into her homeschooling routine but self care isn’t just about what we do for ourselves.

Self care is doing things for other because it is good for our soul. It doesn’t mean you need to go all Oprah and giveaway cars, electronics or other awesome gifts (unless you can afford it). You have heard the stories of the people who start the giving lines at Starbucks where the car in front of them purchases their order for them and then it keeps on going. Or the person that surprises a child with a new bike that their parents can’t afford to buy them.

These little acts of kindness make us feel good about helping others and to see the smile on someone else’s face makes those acts completely worth it. Yes, we do need to make sure we are happy and secure in ourselves but doing things for others when they don’t know it’s coming or asking for it adds to the happiness we feel in our lives.

19fe3357a0ab8f3d1e94922ef83fd632

It is small things like:

Giving a friend a hug when they are down

Holding a door open for a mom with kids in each arm and on each leg

Writing a letter to a soldier serving our country

Leaving a cold bottle of water for the mailman in the summer

Making a meal for someone who is ill

Donating food to a food bank

The possibilities are endless….

6ee8ff99f812e2744b9da2ce061ca0c9

Danyella and I are starting our 100 Act of Kindness Days challenge today. Each day we will find something nice to do for someone else. We will record what we did and how it helped someone else. I want to teach Danyella that among all the mean people in the world, be one of the nice people. Who wants to join us in this challenge?

Here is the pdf printable of chart we will use to keep track of our days: 100 Act of kindness Days PDF

1

ABC Your Positive Life with this Gratitude Starter List

by kaella, posted in Uncategorized

SpringInspiration

If you are anything like me, you can fall into a funk with keep a positive life all of the time. Things happen that can cause stress in your life which can lead to negative thoughts. It can be easy for your mind to get distracted by negative thoughts and forget everything we should be grateful for.

The other funk I fall into is being grateful for the same things over and over. Yes, I am thankful for my house, my children, my husband, my family etc… you get where I am going with this. Now, it is time to find the details of those general things that I am grateful for not just my kids, etc.

One way that helps me sort through these funks is to use my ABC list. This allows my brain to open up and think outside of the box for the things that I am grateful for in my life. Some of the letters make me get very creative which helps in exercising my brain as well.

Such as… A: I am grateful for apples and that my baby girl is big enough to start eating applesauce now.

You can start off with one letter a day or a few at a time. You can go in order or skip around. In the end all that matters is that you are working on your positive life and gratitude towards what is in your life.

I created the sheets in yellow and purple to brighten your day while you write, the first link is the pdf to download, the second is a jpg:

Yellow ABC’s of Gratitude

ABC's of Gratitude

Purple ABC’s of Gratitude

ABC's of Gratitude (1)

5 Affirmations to Attract Money Into Your Life

by kaella, posted in Uncategorized

NOT TO ACQUIRE.

I am a firm believer in the law of attraction and your thoughts attract what you do or don’t want into your life. That being said, your thought process attracts your income and abundance in your life. When you think about what you want to achieve in a positive way then positive things will happen.

Think about it… when you feel like you are drowning in debt and can’t keep up with your bills, all of your thoughts are on your debt and how you can’t pay your bills. If you think about how you make more than enough money to pay your bills or how you are able to pay your debt off with ease, you are putting a positive spin on a negative thing in your life.

Say you want to be a stay at home mom with your kids but you don’t think your family could afford. Think of a positive affirmation to say and write to yourself everyday about the situation. When your mind is thinking about this situation from a positive aspect, you open your mind and life up to other opportunities. Maybe a work at home position opens up for you. Maybe you find a way to budget and cut expenses to stay at home with the kids. The possibilities are endless when you think positively about it.

One way that I attract the things I want in my life is through affirmations. Every morning, I find or create an affirmation that aids in accomplishing my current goal(s). I will say this affirmation to myself throughout the day. When I have a negative thought come through, I need to consciously stop myself and think about my affirmation to turn myself around. Now, that part has been an ongoing work in progress because it is easy to let the negative thoughts swirl in your head before you realize you need to turn that thought process around.

Being a Work At Home Mom, I can feel the frustrations and financial burden of my household when I don’t bring in more income then we need to cover some of our bills. Suffering from depression and anxiety, I can let myself get pulled down by these feelings very easily. Affirmations have been a great way to release the negative and find the positive especially in this situation.

My current goal: pay off my medical bills from my pregnancy and birth. Since I had a high risk pregnancy and lost my insurance for a portion of that pregnancy, finally got insurance with a huge deductible ($7500) and gave birth on January 1st (new deductible kicked in), my medical bills are about $20k with some bills still trickling in 4 months later. This has been a huge hit on my credit report because I was on bed rest and couldn’t just pay the bills out of pocket and we want to buy a house next year. So it is time to clean up my credit and pay off these bills.

Here are my top 5 Affirmations that I use to help my mindset attract more money:

  1. Money Flows To Me From Multiple Sources Money Flows To Me From Multiple Sources

  2. I Feel Excited To Pay My Bills OffI Feel Excited To Pay My Bills Off

  3. I Now Attract An Abundance Of Money Into My LifeI Now Attract An Abundance Of Money

  4. Money Comes To Me Easily and EffortlesslyMoney Comes To Me Easily and Effortlessly

  5. I Am A Money MagnetI Am A Money Magnet

Since starting this journey, I have made a game plan of how I am paying off those bills (this is big for me because just looking at the bills made me want to run the other way), how I can cut down some of our excess spending to pay towards the debt and have seen more sales come in from business orders and yard sale sites. When I was dwelling on the negativity of the debt, I wasn’t getting anything accomplished but when I turned my thoughts into how I am paying off my debt, the good has flowed into my life.

 

Write It Out: Put Your Feelings on Paper

by kaella, posted in Uncategorized

Write it Out_Put your feelings on paper.png

Have you ever gotten to a point in your life that you have kept so much bottled up inside that you feel like a volcano ready to explode? Maybe the person you need to talk to is not around to express your feelings? Do you feel like you have no one to talk to about what is going on in your life? There are more than one reason a person holds in their feelings instead of expressing them but writing them out is a way of getting those feelings out.

Lately, I have had a lot going on in my personal life that only a few people know about. This situation has been playing over and over in my mind until I get to the point of wanting to scream my head off. Thankfully, I have had a few close friends and family to listen to me talk about this situation… over and over. I have tried to talk to the person that is involved with the situation but that is like talking to a brick wall.

ffb1050c8e15e4a73192a31a577049df

 

My solution to getting my feelings out without annoying the hell out of my friends and family or getting frustrated for talking to a wall… write it out! I have been journal writing since high school because a counselor suggested it as a way to express my feelings without having to talk about them. I won’t lie, I can go long periods without writing in my journal because things are either going so well that I don’t feel the need to write OR things are so bad that I am to numb to write.

When I write my out my feelings, I feel a sense of relief afterwards. Sometimes this relief is short-lived… a few hours or it can last a few days or weeks. No matter how long this relief lasts for the fact that I am able to express my feelings is the healthy aspect of living a positive life. Yes, we all have negativity in our lives whether we want it our not but it is how we handle this negativity that makes the difference in living a positive life. Journal writing helps turn those negative feelings we are dealing with into a positive way of expression.

cd9c697f29d8703b88f669bcb0d89e1b--crazy-facts-weird-facts.jpg

 

Journal writing can aid in keeping you connected with your mind and body aka mindfulness. It can keep your mind focused on goals that need or want to be accomplished. Taking the time to write in a journal teaches self-discipline to do a task when you feel a trigger coming that needs to be expressed. Journal writing has healing benefits for people with depression, anxiety and sleep disorders because it helps to calm the mind. This is just some of the benefits of journal writing!

 

I used to and still do love writing with a pen and paper. Just the feeling of releasing my feelings while the ink glides across the paper. Seeing those words come to life is just a magical feeling. Unfortunately, my hands do not want to cooperate with writing with a pen and paper. After a few minutes of writing, my hands end up in a lot of pain so I have started making my journal writing digital. I use google drive to make my documents because it is free and I can use it among all my devices. Like last night, I needed to write my feelings out so I was able to grab my phone, open the app and type away until I felt better.

So, whether you need a pen and paper or a computer/tablet/phone to write your feelings, it doesn’t matter as long as you write your feelings out. Good feelings, bad feelings… all feelings matter and feel great when you write them down. I encourage you to start writing today!

Writing your feelings out in a journal keeps your POSITIVE life on track. Take a few minutes to write down the good, the bad or the ugly and release it to the universe.

Worth It Wednesday

by kaella, posted in Uncategorized

Worth It Wednesday

In my life right now, I am focused on my self-care and working towards a positive life which means eliminating the negativity in my life. Part of that negativity are my Wednesday rant posts. As nice as it is to vent my feeling but when I started to let the venting and negativity take over my life, it was time to work taking the bad out and bring the good in. So, instead of focusing on venting on Wednesdays I am going to focus on ways to bring good things into my life and your life with Worth It Wednesday!

What does Worth It Wednesday mean?

Worth It Wednesday is all about living the life you are worth living. Finding positivity in every aspect of your life. Being grateful for what you have and what you will receive in the future. Holding yourself accountable for what how your thinking, feeling and living your life. Making the necessary changes to make your life the one you want.

My goal for my new Wednesday series is to post ways that help you live your best life. This will include different activities that could help in your journey. As well, I will feature products that will aid in your positive life journey. I am a quote lover, so there will be posts that feature quotes that will enhance your life. I am sure as my journey continues, I will have different themes and posts that I haven’t thought of yet.

I am excited to share my journey with all of you and I hope that these future posts will encourage you to live the life you are worth living because it is worth it to live your best life. Life is too short to belived counting the years.Enjoy the ride and makeamazing memories.Have a great birthday!

Creating A Vision Board #thankfulthursday

by kaella, posted in Uncategorized

What you want in life

About 15 years ago, I was watching Oprah and she had someone on her show that was talking about living a positive life. I don’t remember who the woman was but I remember what she was saying about mind over matter and changing your thoughts will change your life hit home. At that point in my life, I was living in a dark time and needed the positive influence to change things for the better to get out of the rut.

This woman and Oprah talked about Vision Boards and how they truly helped change their lives. Essentially, it was taking things that they wanted and put it into the Universe to become a reality by seeing these things on a board. They even presented a little kid that had a vision board which helped them stay focused and achieve their school goals. I wanted this board to change my life too!

After that show, I bought a bunch of magazines and cut a piece of cardboard to start my Vision Board journey. I didn’t know what I was really doing with that first vision board but I cut out all kinds of things I wanted for my life. Things I wanted to have, a job that I wanted, clothes I wanted to wear, an apartment I wanted to live in and other things that I can’t remember at this point. I would continually add to the board as time went on and I received some of the things on my board.

photo-jan-25-1-42-15-pm.jpg

Over the past 15 years, I have created 5 Vision Boards to help my life be what I want it to be. I have added words of things I wanted to feel like beautiful and confident, things I wanted to accomplish like running my business from home, the relationship/marriage I wanted to have in my life, things that I wanted in my life like a new phone and new computer, places I wanted to travel to like Las Vegas, even the baby that I wanted in my life and so much more. These things have all come true in my life though somethings haven’t ended the way I wanted but that is why a vision board is always evolving with your life.

For the new year, I started a new vision board but never finished it because life just became difficult. I let my vision board sit there for so long. With the new year, I knew it was time to get back to my Vision Board and my positive life. What did I want to see in my life this coming year? I want the house we have been looking to buy. I want my body to feel happy and healthy. I want to have fun and enjoy life more. I want to take my kids on a vacation and so much more! I can’t wait to keep updating my Vision Board… Are you ready to start your Vision Board today?

 

Photo Jan 25, 2 39 33 PM
My Vision Board for the past couple of years

Photo Jan 25, 3 42 39 PM
The start of my Vision Board for this year

Finding Positivity During Hard Times

by kaella, posted in Life, Self love

I thought with the birth of my little Evelynne on New Year’s Day, that 2018 was going to be a great year…. my year. Well the trials and tribulations have just continued into this new year. So a new year doesn’t always mean a new slate, it just means adjusting your perspective and approach to those hard times that plague your life.

I am starting off this new year with having to find a new home for my family due to circumstances out of my control as a renter. I am having to make a decision that is breaking my heart about my marriage because the trust has been broken between my husband and I. I am having to make a decision about to do about going back to work and whether I want or have the heart to put my precious baby into the care of someone else. These are all changes I was not expecting to deal with 18 days into 2018…. 18 days after my little baby was born.

I won’t lie or sugar coat this at all, I have cried and cried and cried but those tears were not getting what I needed done or helping my family. My other concern about my tears is falling into post partum depression which I experienced after my first baby. PPD is not something any mother wants or should have to deal with especially if being triggered by outside circumstances.

How am I keeping the positive during these hard times? I am working on my self care. This is something I have consciously work on or I can find myself just sitting and wallowing in my sorrows for hours.

This means I am making myself get up and shower. I am making myself read and listen to my positivity books when I am sitting to pump or feed the baby. Those moments when I get down, I make myself pull out my notebook and write positive things about myself and my life. Lastly, I let myself cry when I need to cry as long as it does hinder myself from doing things I need to do for my girls and myself. (Even as I am writing this post, tears are flowing because sometimes I need to let them out).

Life isn’t always the way we want it to be but we can’t let the negativity pull us down. As a mother, I need to have the strength to be the best I can be for my children. Yes, Times will be hard and times will be sad and times will be easy and times will be happy but no matter what the times are for you… always find the positive even if it means taking the extra time to do so.