Benny the Bunny

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How in the hell can we adopt a bunny when we have to move? How can we adopt a bunny with a crazy puppy that loves to scare every animal that comes into yard? How can we adopt a bunny when I may end up on bed rest for the next 4-5 months? How are we going to convince a landlord to take us plus our crazy puppy plus a new baby bunny?

It is fair week so I knew that Danyella was going to become Bunny obsessed since we never held up our end of the deal… buying her a new bunny after Hannah the Havana died. Well she worked every angle she could from pouting to getting angry to begging. She tried it all and it worked.

Maybe it is the hormones that made me go soft with this decision but I did feel bad because instead of buying her a new bunny we adopted Max the crazy puppy. Don’t get me wrong, she loves Max but to her we all share Max but a bunny would be all hers like Hanna

h was all hers. I understood that somehow the non animal lover has raised a true animal lover but the timing is all wrong right now.

We need to move and find a landlord that will take us and our puppy which is hard enough but now we have to add a baby bunny to the list. Plus this just adds to yet another thing we need to move. Oh how do I end up agreeing to this craziness? I end up agreeing because I want to make her feel like she is important while I am having to take the time to take care of myself and the baby which cuts into things Danyella and I had planned for the summer. Good ole guilt trip….

Danyella had everyone riding this guilt trip until we agreed to adopt Benny the Bunny. Yes she loves to name her animals to rhyme… Benny the Bunny and Hannah the Havana (type of bunny she was) plus it was hard to find somet

hing to go with Lop (the type of bunny Benny is). I do have to say, her love for animals have made me a little softer in my years with animals and their dreaded fur!

I am sure there will be future posts and pictures about the newest member of our family so stay tuned!

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17 Weeks

0c51b4d6e768a4b380e500cf7242117d Today marks 17 weeks into my pregnancy! I am almost to the half way mark which has been roller coaster of symptoms and hormones so far. Now I am on bed rest for at least the next 2 weeks though I have a feeling it is going to end up being a lot longer.

Everyone talks about the pregnancy glow and how the 2nd trimester is the best trimester of the pregnancy but I beg to differ right now. At 17 weeks, I am still dealing with morning sickness though it has gotten much better and I can hold down most food. Instead of the beautiful glow, I have a face that is breaking out in acne which I have not dealt with before even with the other pregnancies.

My cravings have been not so great…. anything made from potatoes plus candy plus anything that someone might say that makes me hungry in that instant moment. Like today, a friend of mine in a conversation about her dad mentioned Arby’s, and I wanted a Roast Beef and Cheese sandwich asap! To bad there isn’t an Arby’s in my area. This week is our county fair which is food heaven to me. So for dinner my parents, daughter and I are going to eat dinner at the fair so bring on the pierogies!

Then we come to my hormones…. oh they have been off the charts! I have teetered between rage and anger to crying at everything! My poor boyfriend has been at the receiving end of my yelling and most of my crying so he has been a trooper with coping with me. Christmas romantic movies have been my downfall lately. It is like my body just wants me to cry and cry and cry a little more!

On a bright note, I have survived 3 days on bed rest so far and have started a baby blanket for Baby Evelynne. I do have a little more energy which has been nice to clean more of the house as we prepare to start packing soon. I am taking this bed rest just like the rest of life, one day at a time.

Photo Jul 26, 10 52 02 AM Here is Baby Evelynne at our appointment last wednesday. She is facing and kicking my back. According to my apps, she is as big as a white onion, a turnip, a pomegranate, Creme Brulee, Game Controller or a chipmunk! She is growing so fast and I cannot wait to meet our baby girl in 5 months!

A Little Positivity during the Hard Times

610a73b1c546e16019980715e766eb4fBoy have I screamed…. at everyone and cried…. at everything and everywhere this week! For one good thing that has happened, it felt like 5 bad things followed in its footsteps. It has been so difficult to keep going but as a pregnant mother,  I just kept putting one foot in front of the other and keep waking up everyday.

So some updates on the hard times and the positive things that have happened…

Doctors appointments galore resulted in finding out that I have placenta previa and I am on bed rest for the next 2 weeks. First I went to the maternal fetal medicine doctor (aka high risk doc) for my bi weekly ultrasound and weekly shot. I was having horrible back pain and some cramping going into the appointment which the ultasound showed the placenta previa (I was not told this at the appointment) and they consulted with another doctor in the practice. She came in and told me that I am probaly just dehydrated without even listening to my concerns. I left very, very upset but kept my hormonal mouth in check. A few hours later I went to see my regular OB, which was the first time I had met him. He was absolutely wonderful at making sure I felt comfortable and listened to my concerns. It was my OB that told me about the placenta previa and that I need to take it easy. Well working on my feet for hours at a time makes “taking it easy” extremely hard plus add the pain I was having and we agreed bed rest for 2 weeks and then back in for a check up. I left feeling so much better about my pregnancy and my baby were in good hands.

With doctors and appointments come the dreaded insurance. Well we are still fighting with all of that. I will get to the bad then explain the good that has happened. So the company that produces the progesterone shot that I need weekly was kind enough of to send out a charity set so I could get my shots when I needed. Plus the MFM office is willing to work with me to self pay until I get the insurance straightened out. Well….. the OB’s office is not even willing to see me now until I have the insurance situated and will not let me self pay either. When I originally showed up to the OB on Wednesday, the receptionist wouldn’t even let me be seen that day. One of the other office people saw the pain I was in and told her I needed to be seen today (there are some kind people left in the world). Well the receptionist called my insurance company then called me to inform that they will not see me until I have documentation that states my insurance is active again. Then she goes on to tell me that there is some kind of charity program I can apply for with my insurance company and to call them to apply so they can see me again.

You would think that seeing a pregnant woman, especially a high risk pregnant woman with complications, would be a requirement not an option! This is what is wrong with the United States Health Care System! They make is difficult to get health insurance, pay for health insurance or be seen by doctors because it is all about the money. It scares me to raise children in a society where you have to break your back to be able to afford simple things like housing, food and health care and you see nothing in return but struggle.

So there goes another day of crying and fighting with insurance companies. So I go another round with the insurance company and come out the big fat loser! They tell me that there is no such program and that my insurance is terminated and cannot be reinstated because I purchased it through the marketplace. I feel completely defeated because they repeat over and over and over how I need to have a life change to get new insurance… well the life changes they list can’t happen or don’t apply to me EXCEPT if I move out of state (see later in the blog). So I go back to the marketplace….

Come to find out Amerihealth never even told the Marketplace that they terminated my insurance so I went through and applied for a life change due to my change of income which has significantly dropped since I originally started my insurance. I was approved for the life change and given the option to start a new policy. This time I went with a new company that my OB still accepts so I don’t have to worry about that. My next hurdle is getting Horizon to get my policy started so that I can pay my premium before Tuesday so that my insurance will start on August 1st.

Onto the moving/house situation…. The house is set for online auction starting tomorrow and we have decided that we want to move to Pennsylvania where things are a little cheaper. Rental hunting is hard enough but now we need to add a pet to the our list of things the rental needs to have/accept makes it a little harder. I am hoping and praying that we can find something in the next couple of weeks so that we can get Danyella back into public school and take one expense off our monthly list so we will see….

Yes there has been hard times, crying, fighting (especially between bf and I) but there has been positive outcomes as well. It is those positive moments that keep us going from day to day and sometimes hour to hour.

New Day Different Stress

stressAs if this pregnancy hasn’t been hard enough to deal with, but each day has brought something new to stress about which living in good ole America means…. money or lack there of. A woman going through a pregnancy is told to keep her stress level to a minimum for the health of herself and the baby but add a high risk, possible pre-term labor pregnancy and you are told do not be stressed out at all! Oh how I wish life was that easy!

Since June, the stressors have been hitting me left and right with each one having a bigger impact than the last. In June, while I was on my one and only girls trip to Las Vegas (planned nearly a year in advance and the thought of a baby was not even in existence), I receive a frantic phone call from my boyfriend that someone is trying to change the locks on our house! WTF!! After calming him down, making several pissed off phone calls to my landlord and trying not to ruin my trip, I find out that the house we have been renting was foreclosed on and my landlord never told the bank he was renting it so the bank was coming to seize the property! So my landlord had to email me a letter stating we were renting the property because he had not updated my lease which was asked multiple times since November. One crisis diverted…. onto the next one!

Jump to a couple of weeks ago when I get notice in the mail that my insurance did not cover a single one of my baby appointments because they cancelled my insurance. WTF!! Now I am hormonal and dealing with a crisis so I automatically start crying and freaking out at the same time. I call the insurance company, who first tells me that they cancelled the insurance and reactivated it to May because they didn’t receive my premium for May. Mind you they accepted my payment for June and July and never said a single word in 2 months about May until they cancelled the policy. I am frantic on the phone with them who connects me with the company that I bought my policy from and tells me just pay them and then we can reinstate it. Well this company tells me NO! When the policy is cancelled it is cancelled sorry and hangs up. So I call the insurance company back…. now I am told that I cannot receive insurance in the good ole USA until open enrollment in November or have a life changing event. The girl goes on to tell me that if I have the baby early then I can get coverage….. I am 14 weeks (at that point) I cannot have my baby for months you crazy bitch! So now I am really flipping the hell out and all my boyfriend can say is “we will figure it out”. Well now the doctor’s office is calling me about why everything is getting kicked back from my insurance including the progesterone shots that I desperately need to start next week. Thankfully the nurse called the manufacture and was able to get me a charity set of shots until I can “sort out my insurance”. Though I do need to pay for the visits which means $250 every 2 weeks for the ultrasound that the doctor needs and I am not sure what the nurse visits will cost. Well to sort out my insurance I would need to either quit my job, claim self employed under my business and pay $500 a month which I do not have OR marry my boyfriend which will never happen as he made very clear to me (another blog post for the future). So for right now I am stuck in a rut with this stressor.

Yesterday, I find out that the house we are still living in is now being auctioned by Auction.com on August 1st…. WT double F!!!! So after some research, I find out that once the house is sold through this site we will have 1 of 2 options, receive a 90 day eviction notice or have our lease changed which means an increase in rent! FML!! I can barely afford the bills that we have because I am down to working only 4 days a week and should be on bed rest. Now I am trying to figure out how we are coming up with the money to move into a new place plus find a new place and keep current on the bills that we do have.

A new Day…. A new Stessor! Now to look at the upside of things… 1.I do still have a place to live in, even if it is for 90 days 2. My baby is receiving care because of a very caring nurse. 3. I have a business that I can restart to make money while I make my game plan 4. I have a house full of stuff to sell on the Facebook yard sale groups to help raise money for my moving and medical expense. 5. I am 16 weeks today and Baby Evelynne is the size of an Avocado!!

Where Have I Gone?

I swear I have not given up on my blogging or ran off to hide in some cave (as tempting as that is right now!) but instead there has been a big change in my life…..

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Yes that is right we are having a baby girl around Christmas time this year! Her name will be Evelynne Rue and we are so excited to welcome a new addition to our family.

So why did this news of a pregnancy make me disappear for nearly 4 months?? One answer…. Good Ole Morning Sickness! Yes some women suffer from morning sickness and some are blessed with an amazing pregnancy that gives them a glow and they crave foods that they can eat. Not me with this pregnancy!

Just about from the moment I found out I was pregnant the nausau hit me hard, then came the puking all the time which made working in a restaurant oh so much fun… not! Everything made me want to get sick including looking at a computer screen or even crocheting! I didn’t want to do anything besides sleep and puke all day long and still have my really bad moments of the day.

Yes, at almost 16 weeks, I am still getting sick and live with all day nausau. The bright side is that some of my energy has picked up and am able to function a little more. My house is starting to get clean again, I have picked up yarn without running to the bathroom and I am right now typing on my computer! Who would have thoughts that these would be huge accomplishments in my life right now??

With this big announcement, I will be adding a weekly baby update to my blog because once I am on bed rest I won’t have much else to do besides crochet and be on my computer! I look foward to sharing my good and ugly moments of pregnancy with all of you.

Black Thumb Gardening

Let me start by saying that my black thumb is as dark as 134bb3cd2a59eb88ece0655b7a0116a2black garbage bag my dead plants end up in after I kill them. I have always had a love for flowers, especially roses and lillies (that is where my daughter’s got their middle names) but every attempt to keep a plant alive has been met with an untimely demise caused by my inability to grow anything!

A few years ago, my youngest Danyella and I, purchased tomato and pepper plants that we replanted into pots for our second floor apartment deck. We successfully grew a few tomatoes and peppers that Danyella happily enjoyed eating after she picked them. There may only have been a few veggies that came off those plants but it was a huge success for a black thumb like me.

This year, since we are in a house with a yard, Danyella requested that we grow a garden full of different veggies. I would love to say that I was excited about this when she first asked about it but the fear of failing at growing this garden is huge because I don’t want to disappoint my child. It seems like all the planets alined with Danyella’s request because every store is selling starting kits with mini pots, seeds and the disc thing that becomes the dirt. Most of the kits that I have purchased for $1 were from Target because they have a whole little gardening section in their $1 bins (no idea what they really call them but the area where all the products are $5 and under). For Danyella’s birthday, I bought her forget me nots, pansies, strawberries, cucumbers and tomato seed kits. Since then I have purchased lavendar, mint and basil seeds plus a couple of adorable planters and marking sticks. Add that to the Rose bush my boyfriend bought me for Valentine’s Day (another story for another day), succulents I bought at the Philadelphia Flower Show and the Calla Lily plant that Danyella received on her birthday and we have lots of plants to try to keep alive!

In New Jersey, it is still very cold at night (averages in the 30s) and warms to 50-60 degrees during the day. We are getting alot of rain this past week (after a 2 foot snow storm March 14th!) which is drenching the ground. Since the weather is so up and down, I did some research and asked friends that grow plants before I started the process of starting to make my pots. The past couple of days, I have started our little pots of seeds and are keeping them in boxes and baskets so I can transport them outside when the whether is nice.

I have a tendancy to either forget to water the plants or over water them so this is going to be finding a balance and doing more research on how to keep our plants alive. I am very excited and nervous to try and make this garden grow to feed my daughter’s curiosity and tummy. I’ll keep you all updated on our garden endeavor and please feel free to leave me any tips for my black thumb to maybe turned a green tinged gray.

New Puppy Mama for a Non Animal Lover

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I will be the first to admit that I was never an animal person. I couldn’t handle the fur being everywhere, the constant need for attention and the ruckus they tend to cause which is why God blessed me with a child who loves animals to the point where she stopped eating meat for a long period of time (yes I love a good steak, chicken, pork almost any meat dish except venision). Danyella absolutely loves animals and has since she was a baby and fell in love with Happy Feet but I dreaded that one day I would have to fulfil her need for animals in the house.

At 5, Danyella received Stinky, a little hamster, for her birthday and he was her first love. Then at 6, she adopted Hannah, a Havana bunny that was the runt of the litter. We house trained Hannah so she was an indoor bunny and Danyella couldn’t give enough love to Hannah. Right before Christmas, when Danyella was 8, Stinky died and she was so upset but had Hannah to keep her loving animal spirit going. As a runt, Hannah had medical issues and there was a couple of times we didn’t know if Hannah would survive the infections she got. Everytime she pulled through Danyella would dote on Hannah even more. Now animals in cages, I handled that because Hannah was allowed out a couple hours a day to play but she didn’t make so much of a mess and little noise.

Right before Christmas this past year, Hannah became very ill to the point that I hand fed her through and eye dropper. Danyella, Doug and I took turns holding Hannah until she died 2 days before Christmas. Danyella cried nearly everyday since Hannah died because she lost her best friend. I knew that Danyella wanted a dog but I have always resisted because I cannot handle fur with my business. After my miscarriage, my feelings towards a dog started to change….

A little over 2 weeks ago, Doug and I decided to stop by the local animal shelter (after weeks of stalking their facebook to see what kinds of dogs they had coming in) just to see what they had. I got the lecture from Doug “we are only looking, we are NOT bringing home a dog today!”. Well that lectured didn’t work so well on him at all because one look into each other’s eyes and Doug wasn’t leaving without Max!

Max is a Plott Hound/Pitbull mix that was fostered by someone I know locally. He is 12 weeks old and full of love. He is a Mama’s boy and my protector when someone comes to the door. He loves to go for car rides but hates that Mama won’t let him sit on her lap when she drives. When I get home, Max will shimmy his body around my body to climb up and give me kisses. Adopting Max was the best idea we ever had because now this non-animal loving girl is a New Puppy Mama!16711749_10211574326249956_4510085282709894425_n