Does you child have something that they love to do more than anything else in the world? Playing a sport? Creating art? Reading books? Participating in an activity like boy/girl scouts? Have you ever experienced your child lose their passion for this activity?
This past week, I have experienced Danyella telling me that she doesn’t know if she wants to dance anymore. What the What?? This must be someone else’s child because my child would NEVER say this about dance but she did.
Here is some background story about why this is so unbelievable to me….
Since Danyella was little she LOVED to dance. In order to get her to start walking, I put on Happy Feet and this child danced before she could walk but the movie encouraged her to walk/waddle around the house. As she got older, she experimented trying different things like gymnastics, soccer and girl scouts. She liked them (ok not soccer, she ran the other way) but nothing gave her a spark to wake up and want to do it everyday.
A little over 3 years ago that all changed. She asked to take a Musical Theatre class at a local dance studio so I signed her up for that and a Jazz class. Danyella loved her classes and she was naturally good at dancing. We added a ballet class to her line up and she couldn’t be more in her element. Just a year after dancing, Danyella made the studio’s first ever Mini Elite competition team. She takes 7 classes a week plus competition team or the special recital team’s rehearsals. On Saturdays she dances for 11 hours with breaks throughout the day. This is when my kid is in her element. She is a great dancer and quick to pick up choreography.
Now after 3 years, she lost the spark she had because of a couple of girls in 2 of her classes. She still loves to dance but now she only wants to dance in her room. She dreads going to her first 2 classes on Saturday mornings because it feels like torture to deal with these girls. The nail in the coffin is that next year she only has one option for ballet and it forces her to be in the same class with the same girls with the same teacher that doesn’t seem to care to control the class. She doesn’t want to go at all next year.
When my child is unhappy then I am unhappy!
What to do what to do? Danyella doesn’t want me to say anything to anyone for fear that this girl will hear that her mom opened her mouth and will retaliate against her. Well, she should know better because I will open my mouth. I don’t want to see Danyella avoid doing the thing she loves because a few girls have ruined this year for her. I will advocate for my child because when she dances, she has a magical spark about her and twinkle in her eye. You know that she doesn’t have to dance but she choices to display a beautiful form of art for everyone to enjoy.
Yes, I could be the parent to take the easy way out and let her just quit. What does letting her quit teach her? How will she feel in 10 or 20 years that she gave up on her dream to be a professional dancer? I want her to push to be the best person she can be and for her that means being a dancer. Dance has given her friends that she can relate to and enjoy spending hours upon hours with. Dance has given her a discipline that she didn’t have before. Dance has given her a passion about something in her life, something to look forward to doing every single day.
Not only has Danyella given her heart and soul to dancing, but so has the rest of our family. Evie has become the team mascot for the Mini Elite team and dance studio. The teachers love to get the chance to hold Evie and dance with her. The other moms have become a second mom to both girls. I have formed friendships that will last a lifetime. The studio has become our second family and I don’t want to give up our second family without a fight to help Danyella get to a place where she is comfortable for next year’s classes and that she will participate in all of her recital classes this year.
Moral of this story: Don’t let your kids just quit when they have a passion for something. There are negative people in the world that will always try to extinguish your flame but when they do just relight it and burn them with it. Ok not literally burn them but you get what I mean…. make them realize they can’t force you or your child out of what they love. Fight for your kids dreams and passions!
Oh gosh this is so sad 🙁 I really hope you manage to get her into some difference classes that can help reignite her passion again.
I had a passion for playing the violin as a kid. When I became an adult I no longer wanted to play.
I hope she does not let the fire die. To have passion for something is so fulfilling.
So sad to hear about this, I’m sure her passion for dance will come back!
It’s unfortunate, but there’s always going to be at least that one person who makes something bitter of an otherwise great situation. But we certainly can’t let them run our lives, or we’d never be able to do anything ;). I wish Danyella luck in all of her future dancing endeavors!
It’s so awesome that she has you as her mom. Your encouragement will lift her up and I hope she gives her passion a chance again. She’s adorable.
This makes me sad. All three of my girls are dancers and we’ve had to deal with the “mean girls”. The most important thing for her to understand is that leaving her passion, allows them to win.
She has a great talent in dancing and she just want to give up. This is so sad. I hope she gets her passion back
When I was growing up there were so many different sports and activities that I wanted to do and thought I had a great passion for but it ended up that I didn’t. I didn’t find my great passion until I was in junior high and started playing volleyball, and that was something I did throughout my entire academics. Of course there was times I wanted to give up, but I ultimately knew how much I loved the game for myself. Hopefully your daughter will be able to find her passion for dance again, but if not maybe she’ll find something she loves even more! Just keep encouraging and supporting her like you have been!
What a nice post! My daughter used to be passionate about drawing and now she isn’t. I had to learn that children are always changing, because that’s how you find what you like. She knew she liked art, so she drew. When she found out about writing and she threw away her colored pencils for regular ones. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
I understand how you feel as a parent, but she also needs to learn that there will always be people likt that throughout her life. If she wants to be a professional dancer she is going to need to learn how to deal with negative and mean people. It’s unfortuante, but it is a fact of life.