If you sit back to watch and listen to a group of kids and/or teens, you will be able to pick out the rude, mean kids and kind kids. Week after week, a few parents at the dance studio sit back to watch these kids and how they act to be able to pick out these different kids. The sad thing is that the mean kids outweigh the kind kids. Not only are these kids mean to the other kids but to adults and most of all their parents! This plays right into the big internet controversy this week….
The big internet controversy this week is the episode from the Roseanne reboot where she sticks her granddaughter’s head under the kitchen sink and sprays her with water. (The clip is below if you missed it) Roseanne did this in reaction to the fact her granddaughter, Harris, is acting rude, disrespectful and entitled to everyone around her. This behavior has become common place among kids, tweens and teens which these kids feed off of each other.
These kids, no matter their age, will throw a temper tantrum of sorts until the parents allow them to get what they want. This behavior from the parents teaches the mean kids that their bad attitude and behavior is acceptable not only at home but in public and among other people and kids. Since when do parents step tip toe around their kids and show them fear of their temper tantrums?
Now, I will admit that Danyella has her moments. Yes, she is 11 and has learned from other kids that she should be entitled to whatever she wants and shouldn’t have to do anything for it. Boy is she wrong! Currently, we are working on undoing the bad habits her dance classmates have tried to teach her by giving her a chore chart and reward system (check that post out here: Tween Rules and Reward System). She knows that her bad behavior will not be tolerated and taking points away from her earning her New York City trip means it will be even longer before we can go. Plus, for Christmas she received an iPod which is the cause of most her throwing a fit because she doesn’t want to put it down. She will get mean, say nasty things and throw a fit when its time to give up her iPod for either a time limit or bad behavior. With the promise of points being taken away for this behavior, these tantrums have dwindled slowly.
On the other hand, kind kids are started at home with being given boundaries that help shape them into responsible, respectful kids. These parents don’t allow the kids to get away with bad behavior because there are consequences to that type of behavior. Now, I am not talking about the types of discipline in this post but I am saying these kids know that if they behave badly there will be a downfall/consequence to it.
These kind kids are the ones that will welcome a new kid into their friendship circle, open a door for a stranger, share their lunch with a kid that forgot theirs, pick up something someone else dropped and smile when someone looks at them. It is these kids that grow into responsible adults that want to help others. They are the adults that help with charities, listen to their friends talk, help when anyone needs help and smiles with someone looks at them.
Danyella has been writing her affirmations of kind words and her writing prompts are about being kind to herself and others. Plus, I have been teaching her to stand back and watch how these mean kids act when she is around them and think about how they look to others. Then, she was taught to think about whether she wants others to see her act like that and does it benefit her to act like that. Last, I have been teaching her to say something nice to someone everyday because sometimes someone needs to hear kinds words. You never know when someone else is having a bad day and those kind words just helped them feel better.
These are the kind of kids we should be raising today! The kids that learn at home to be kind to others, to be responsible for their obligations and actions and to respect other people, no matter their age or relation to them. Let’s all strive to be the parents that teach our kids to be a Kind Kid and change the world one kind kid at a time!
great post. my daughter has had this problem recently with her sister and classmates. she’s been going to a group in school to work on it, it’s been a process. It is tough to teach them kindness and I do recall at a certain age with my sister, we were like cats and dogs but it is really difficult to see her going through that and hoping that she will learn to treat others with kindness and not be selfish
I agree that kindness needs to be taught at home but every child goes through these phases. Some thing that works for one may not work for the other. So my advice is to understand your child better, teach them well and pray!
I could not agree with you more! Teaching kids to be kind from the very start is so important.. kids these days just seem to be overall so entitled..
i agree, my 1 year old is already starting to have tantrums and idk what to do next
You are right about kind behavior and mean behavior starting at home. I am so glad you are working with your daughter to be kind. Great blog. – Allyson Mom Inks
Beautiful post, yes there comes a phase in a child’s life when they are neither too mature nor too childish and they forget the basic kindness and throw tantrums. It was wonderful to read how the point based system got her tone down the bad behaviour.
This is such a great post. I completely agree with you. I think our kids attitude start at home, however we treat them and discipline them will definitely reflect how they are when they are not around us.
Yes, kindness definitely starts at home! I think that a parent’s discipline style plays a huge role in it. There are parents who punish and then there are those who TEACH. Kids need to learn how to behave appropriately instead of just punished for NOT behaving correctly. This is mainly for young kids just learning the ropes. It’s also important that parents MODEL the behavior they want to see in their kids. If you don’t want your kids to yell and scream, then don’t yell and scream at them! It’s so hard to maintain composure 24/7 with all the stresses of life and kids, BUT it’s something to strive for for the sake of your children 🙂
I agree with you. Parents have the biggest impact on kids so we should start from us and teach them how to be kind