Even though post partum depression is still a very quiet subject that most people do not want to talk about, depression during pregnancy is an even quieter subject. I suffered from anxiety and depression long before my pregnancy but went off of my medication once I found out I was pregnant. I would do anything to keep my unborn baby healthy, but at what cost to myself.
Why did I go off of my medication? The type of medication I was on is considered a Class D drug which deemed it unsafe for a growing fetus. So of course I made the decision to put my baby and her health first.
For most of my pregnancy, I was doing well with my depression but my anxiety has yet to get under control. Some days were better than others when it came to my panic attacks but the anxiety has always been there. Whether it has been over things going on with the baby, parenting, family, relationship, our home… anything. In the past few weeks, the panic attacks not only come daily but multiple times a day or hour.
I have tried meditation, positive thinking, audio books on positivity, journaling and so much more but nothing has been working. The other day the anxiety turned to pure depression. I couldn’t move and refused to get out of bed. The tears and depressive thoughts just came in droves and consumed everything in me. I just couldn’t take anymore and this was more than just a hormonal unbalance.
When you can no longer function in your daily life because of depressive thoughts then it is more than just being sad about something. I have talked to my OB about finding a safe medication to go on because I know that I need something to help me through this. I need be happy about my life again without anxiety and depression taking over.
No person deserves to suffer through anxiety and depression and a pregnant shouldn’t be left to feel ashamed because they need help through this time in their lives. I wish I hadn’t waited so long to speak up because having these panic attacks that lead to depression moments is exhausting for everyone, not just me but my family as well. A happy mama makes a happy baby makes a happy home!
Good luck to you, mama! You are right that you shouldn’t have to suffer just because you are pregnant. I hope you find some relief.
I agree that happiness during pregnancy is crucial. I could not imagine what you must be going through. I hope you continue to be strong amidst all the challenges, and be truly happy in the end. 🙂
That is rough. Thank you for sharing. A friend of mine had the same problem so her doctor put her on a small dosage of a different medicine that was considered to be more safe for the baby. Hopefully you can find a balance that works for you! I’m rooting for you!
My heart is going out to you. This must be so tough. I am glad that you are actively working to fight this and I hope that you feel loved and supported and free to talk openly about your struggles without stigma or shame. Hang in there, Mama!
Depression is a serious health issue and especially so when you are pregnant! I hope you find some relief soon!