Today, I turn 28 weeks and am officially in the Third Trimester but tomorrow is a somber day because it is October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It is somber because I am one those women that have lost a baby that I never got to meet. I am 1 in 4.
It is so hard to really wrap my head around the fact that I am a statistic but I have had miscarriages in my first trimester and one in my second trimester. That moment when you just know something is wrong and the doctor confirms, the baby is no longer viable (able to continue to grow), is the one of the worst moments a woman can go through no matter if it is your first miscarriage or 4th.
My body is the type that responds to pregnancy almost immediately so I feel those symptoms very early. So when I have lost those babies, it was like losing a piece of my heart, especially with the 2nd trimester loss. That one, I went through morning sickness and cravings. I went for my routine ultrasound but when the tech became very quiet and went to get the doctor, I knew it was over. There was no heartbeat. I fell into a depression after that miscarriage which took a long time to recover from.
In January, I went through my last miscarriage which was not any easier but we agreed to try for another one. We tried for a couple of months but stress and life made doing the deed to make a baby less and less frequent so when I realized I was pregnant again we were both shocked but so happy. I still analyze every time I go to the bathroom that something could be wrong but everything with the baby has been great. We are now in our third trimester!
I’m so sorry for your losses. I have had one as well, 6 years ago this week. Sigh. Even though I have two healthy and crazy boys now, I still ache for that first pregnancy and wonder what would have happened.
Same here with wondering what life would have been like if I didn’t have the miscarriages though I am sure that I wouldn’t have had the baby I am currently pregnant with either.
When I list my baby early on I was surprised at how many other friends came out and told me if their losses . It’s more common than people realise 🙁
I didn’t realize this until I joined a baby group when I was pregnant in January and lost the baby and saw how many of us were losing babies. Then with my current baby group with us all due in January, I would estimate about 30-40% of the members lost their babies in the first trimester. It is so very sad.
I’m sorry you have had to experience the loss of your babies; that has to be one of the toughest things. I’m so happy that your current pregnancy is going well. Hugs!
Thank you!
The first October after my son died shortly after birth, I was newly pregnant again, and miscarried a few days past 10/15. It is so bittersweet, the entire experience. I wish you much health and happiness with this pregnancy, and will be thinking good thoughts for you!
I am so sorry for your loses. Thank you for the good thoughts. We will hopefully be meeting our new baby in 12 weeks.
I’m so sorry for your loss and I wish you feel better soon. I understand the pain and glad you are so brave to share your story with us.
Thank tou