Typically, Thursdays are my days to write about being thankful but after my experience with Danyella yesterday, today is going to be a special subject day…. Grounding a Tween in a Positive Way. I know that at her age, that kids are struggling with still being a child and struggling with wanting to be treated like they are older or an adult. This doesn’t mean that a child can treat others in a disrespectful way which is where we are struggling with Danyella. She feels that she can speak to the adults that care for her in any way she feels fit and continue to do the things that she enjoys. Well she is about to find out that life doesn’t work that way.
In the adult world, if we spoke to each our bosses in this rude manner then we would be fired from our job. If we spoke to a police officer in this rude manner then we would be arrested and spend sometime in jail. If we spoke to our friends in this rude manner then we would be become friends, quickly. If we spoke to our significant other in this rude manner then we would be dumped and living a single life. If we spoke to our loved ones in this rude manner then we would be living a very lonely life. So why do we allow our children to speak and react in rude manners when adults cannot act like that?
Well in my house and family it is not allowed. I will admit that I made many excuses and let things go because I felt Danyella has gone through a lot of change in her 10 years especially with a new baby on the way. The problem with the excuses is that I created a monster that thinks she controls the adults instead of respecting them.
After her meltdown yesterday which was over the fact that she didn’t get her dance leotards into the laundry after I (or so I thought) finished all of the laundry. She flipped out about everything and anything that came to her mind at that point. She refused to go to dance which normally I would make her stay home but instead she was sent without being in her required clothing so that she had to explain why to her teacher. She will be coming home today only to find her room quite empty…. no TV, no toys! Just her clothes, bed and books will be left which she will be earning her items back through a point system.
I had seen someone post this as a meme a while back and the idea sat with me so this morning I decided to make my own point earning system including chores that she fights with me over and positive activities that are required for her to complete in order to earn her items back. I will be posting how this first time goes in Monday’s post so be on the look out.
Print The Grounded Points Chart Congratulations You are grounded
I have a 3-month-old, so these days are little ways away right now. But I did pin it so I have options for when we get to that stage. Thanks for sharing.
Awe congrats on your little one! I will be going thru this all over again with my baby girl in 10 years lol you won’t be alone!
I think you handled it very nicely. I don’t have a tween but I have a terrible two and boy it can get tough.
Lol I would take the terrible twos back anyday.
You couldn’t have picked a better photo! Ha! I am dreading the days when my littles become Tweens or teens. Awesome job working hard to instill respect and values in your children!
I feel that is my daughter’s permanent face right now! Being my third, she has been the one I struggle with the most but then I am dreading what the youngest is going to be like when she hits 10 and older since both her father and I are so head strong. Good luck with your littles!
I like the point system! And I’ll be honest- dressing the tween stage. Currently I only have 2 boys so I’m hoping they’ll be more laid back & drama free than I was at that age.
I am pretty lucky that she is still pretty conservative with her clothing right now but I am sure that will change soon. Yes my son is so easy going and drama free for the most part lol
These are not the days I look forward to! We’re still in toddlerhood. The system you laid out seems to give an opportunity for reflection.
Yes you have some time before you get to this point. Enjoy them while they are little lol. Something I learned about my kids is that they need to remember why they are getting in trouble and how they need to respect others. That seems to go out the door especially with the youngest one